just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
