my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
