youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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