found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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