Cold hands, warm shart.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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