He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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