I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
