you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
