Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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