I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think my vagina is haunted
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
