It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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