I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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