I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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