They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
