she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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