WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I need to sanitize my soul.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
