I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
