Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
