he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Who died my cat blue again?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
