No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
