She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
