shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Randomize
