I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
