You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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