She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
