I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I fill condoms, not promises.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
