Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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