She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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