Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
