The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
