You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
