I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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