East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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