You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
