the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
