I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
