you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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