I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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