He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm really busy with my period
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