So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
