it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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