It was confusing and full of hummus
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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