Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
