Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
