I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
