I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
