sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
