Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so let's talk penis.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
