He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
