dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
