Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
